Alone or Lonely without Facebook?

Loneliness. Do you remember that feeling? If so when was the last time you felt it?

Well today, I feel lonely. I was having a fairly average day and everything was going fine, but then something happened. I am not going to say what it was, but it upset me. Now here I am around none of my friends, or family, or actually anyone, and I can not stop obsessing over what I am upset about.

Now for the first time since I deleted facebook I truly wanted to go on it. I wanted to see familiar faces, distract myself from feeling so alone. As tempted as I was I did not reactivate my facebook, but sure enough I found myself on twitter. Here were some familiar faces, and it did make me feel less lonely. Then I realized with the constant connect of social media have we tricked ourselves into thinking we are not alone? If a friend is just a click away can we really ever feel lonely?

Well I think we can still feel lonely, but social media sure makes it easy to forget we are alone. With social media we can always rely on someone to be there. We never have to wait around to talk to someone or for someone to call. In my opinion its easy to forget how alone we truly are when you can see your friends online.

Coping with the feelings of loneliness  without social media  requires self reliance. I have started to realize coping with anything without Facebook requires self reliance, and confidence in yourself. I noticed after deleting Facebook how often I would go on it for last minute advice on assignments. Why could I not rely on my own knowledge to get me through it? Why did I think anyone may know better than me?

Being off Facebook has made me feel like my own person again. Up until today I enjoyed feeling like I was out in the world by myself, alone. So why was it that when I felt lonely the first place I thought to go was Facebook?

e-mail me your thoughts at: disconnect2reconnect@gmail

posted by: Courtney Wright

Remember that video...

Hello again.

Remember that video I posted a while ago called “Socially Active?” Well, I posted it on our YouTube account and received some sweet feedback from user: Klemperer.

Here’s what Klemperer had to say:

Nice view :). I left facebook last June, and indeed, I read more and meet more people since that day^^. 0’40 onwards is great ;-)). Social networks do have advantages, but there are better possibilities, I am sure. Lovely to ask a musician 5000 miles away what music she’s doing - but that’s possible without facebook^^. Read more books, meet more people, all :)!

Then, I messaged her just to see if she wouldn’t mind me posting her feedback on the blog and this is the response I received:

Hi Leviana,

of course you could! I think it’s a very lively and superb video. You know, I met a lot of cold snobs at university in Germany during the last years (I’m a tad older than you^^ so can compare a bit). What we generally lack is the spirit that is in your very video :-))! Stand up and fight, so to say, for what you find important and right, or funny^^. Don’t let the “I got 127 “i like it” on facebook - stuff make ´just another fashion-and-style-follower out of us :-)). I met so many people who had good ideas, but after the third “sarcastic cold, but cool” answer stopped.

So I would say, each and everyone who will watch your video will be delighted, you seem just as you are (well this is wild guessing over the internet^^ of course, he he). Those who would not like it - well, we are in free countries. I think it’s a very nice video, post it if you like it too, because of course it’s of not so big an importance for you what I think :-))).

All I can say is I was happy to watch it, and especially after all those postmodern hate-blurb-speakers in german universities and scenes I found the spirit in it I like - it’s funny, it’s convincing, and it’s without the need to “make points” (which is the beginning of desaster anyways^^)

I’ll bookmark the blog right away.

Ciao, and thanks for the great video, this is life, and I like it^^

Georg

Let us know what you think by e-mailing us at disconnect2reconnect@gmail.com.  

EVEN BETTER: Record your own vlog and send it to us. We’ll post it ;)

posted by: Leviana Coccia

All Posts

To view posts between October and November please click on this link .

A friend's attempt to discourage me from participating.

Challenge: Face Value Revision

Last night we had changed our challenge description for “Face Value” on the events page. So here is the new description on the event.
Challenge: Face Value

On Sunday October 24th, “The Reconnect”, a group of Media Studies students at the University of Guelph-Humber challenge you to delete your Facebook for one week, and “Face the Change”. Before you click “Not Attending”, read on.

Firstly we would like to inform participants that by “deleting” your Facebook it does not truly delete it. You can simply re-activate your account by signing back in, and all your information will be there just as you left it. The only difference is no one will be able to post on your wall, tag you in pictures, message you, and so forth, during your time away. We ask you to delete your Facebook, as appose to simply not singing on, to encourage you to avoid the temptation of signing on to check if someone has posted on your wall, invited you to an event etc.

We are proposing this challenge as part of our experiment to disconnect to reconnect. To view our overall mission click on the following link: http://disconnect2reconnect.tumblr.com/post/1345562212/the-mission . Essentially we are challenging you for a week to remember how you used to connect to friends and family without Facebook. During this challenge we will be challenging you to connect in ways you may have forgotten like this challenge featured in the following link: http://disconnect2reconnect.tumblr.com/post/1354594728/mini-challenge-before-the-fail-whale-there-was . The purpose is to decide what forms of technology and social media are useful and vital to you.

During this experiment we encourage participants and non-participants to think about the integration of technology and social media forms are affecting their lives. We want people to make their own decisions, and form their own opinions, as well as, inform us at disconnect2reconnect@gmail.com. Now some participant’s opinions may be formed before they participate in the event, however, we believe it is important to constantly be re-evaluating and challenging your own opinions.

Here is how to participate:

We ask participants to commit to delete their Facebook for at least one week. If participants can we encourage them to keep their Facebook deleted, move on to the next challenge, and continue disconnecting. Here is how to participate in this week’s Face Value challenge:

1. Join the Facebook event.

2. Invite everyone on your Facebook to the event, do not be shy.

3. Check this tumblr, and/or the event for the days’ status. Post the status to your Facebook.

4. “Like” anyone who has the status posted, as this will aid in creating awareness.

5. October 24th, delete your Facebook by 12pm and get ready to start experiencing your life before Facebook again.

6. Join the conversation here on tumblr. Submit your concerns, experiences, anything you want us to know at disconnnect2reconnect@gmail.com, along with your age and name.

*As some of you may notice the description of the event has changed. We have not deleted our old description entirely as we are trying to document as much of this process as possible. We are also not denying the mistakes we make during the process. This is an on-going discussion and conversation in which all our opinions will constantly be changing and that is part of the experimentation. To view the original description click on the following link: http://disconnect2reconnect.tumblr.com/post/1345698137/challenge-face-value

Our life means nothing if we don’t have social status.

I was writing a midterm for my Sociology of Consumption class yesterday and while studying, I came across this sentence in my notes. I believe it was discussed by my professor in lecture.

What does it mean to you?

posted by: Leviana Coccia

"It's Complicated"

Challenge: Face Value, has been receiving a variety of feedback, both negative and positive. Today the feedback was far different than the other days and one of our responders Aaron (who’s last name will be held) brought up a simple but unique point. Perhaps it is because we are Media Study students, or maybe we are just media obsessed but we had assumed that it was common knowledge to everyone that deleting Facebook put it on standby. This means you can simply reactivate your Facebook by signing back on.

I think this is an important area of concern that needs to be addressed when discussing Facebook. Why does Facebook insist on holding on to our profiles, once we choose to discard of them? Why would they not delete it to free up space? A simple conclusion can be drawn that your information is worth a “pretty penny” to them.

If you do want to delete your Facebook entirely, as appose to “deactivating it”, it is possible. Just be aware it is not as easy. All information can be permanently deleted from your account, although Facebook says “Copies of some material (photos, notes, etc.) may remain in [their] servers for technical reasons, but this material is disassociated from any personal identifiers and completely inaccessible to other users.” They go on to state that “Facebook also does not use content associated with accounts that have been deactivated or deleted”. So I question what are these “technical reasons”?

If you do delete your account, Facebook will not make it easy to escape their grasp. You must submit a request and that request is delayed in their system “…In case you change your mind and no longer want to permanently delete your account.” If during this process you give into temptation and sign back on the pending deletion request is undone.

This was information I had been made aware of during my time at school. Here is what I did not know, and to be honest I am unsure of how I personally feel about it. Did you know you could “memorialize” a Facebook account for someone who is deceased? Meaning Facebook memorialize a person’s account who is reported as deceased by removing all sensitive information like status updates, and restrict the profile access to confirmed friends only. Facebook does state though that they “…do honour requests from close family members to close the account completely.”

What I realized is even though I use Facebook almost every day, and typically more than once there is so much I do not know about it. You think me and Facebook would have changed our ‘fb’ status from “It’s complicated” by now. So it is my hope that in the coming weeks I will not only gain more information on this service I use so often, but I will hopefully be able to finally define our relationship.

posted by: Courtney Wright

Progress?  Can not wait to find out October, 24th .

Today's Status

“I may log onto you about [Insert the amount of times you log onto Facebook] times a day, but not once more on October 24, 2010.”

Mini Challenge: Before the Fail Whale

Before the fail whale, there was snail mail, and it seems so quickly we have forgotten the artistry of writing a letter. It also seems that we have forgotten where the nearest mailbox is, how much a stamp cost, or even how to mail a letter all together.

So this week we are encouraging  you  to disconnect from Facebook for a minimum of a week, and that has some of you in a panic. But hey cool it. As part of this project we have promised to help you reconnect you.  So I am throwing you a little mini challenge if you think you can handle it.

Challenge: GO MAIL A LETTER. Mail a friend, your grandmother, Frank if you are into to post secret. So step away from the computer, and take the time to hand write a letter. Spend time on someone you really care about rather than sending a silly tweet or wall post.  Try and complete this process with as little technology as possible, that means no google maps or gps to find this mysterious post-office. Then come back here and e-mail us.  Share with us your experiences, pictures of your letter, whatever you want.  You got our e-mail right? Just in case here is a reminder: disconnect2reconnect@gmail.com !

Moving Day

Monday night I had created a Facebook event entitled “Challenge: Face Value”, in which I and this group “The Reconnect” challenged people to voluntarily delete there Facebook for one week. Since that Monday night there has been an extreme backlash. People are angry, and it is not with Facebook, it is with us! It has begun to feel as if Facebook is an extra limb to some people and we are asking them to hack it off. It’s that third arm we all always wanted, that arm that seems to make every task easier. We seem to forget how ugly we might look with that arm, or how in the way it may get from time to time, because it enables us to multi-task.
I have loved my third arm for the last four years. I truly had a good run with it. On Sunday, October 24th though I am getting an amputation. At first when I created the event on Monday night I wondered “How am I going to do this!”. How am I going to live without this third arm? I realized though I used to live with two just fine. But how did I live with two? I honestly do not remeber, but I am so exicted to see.
I have stopped worrying about deleting my Facebook, because this backlash to the challenge made me think “Why are we all so afraid to let go”. Why are people defending Facebook so much? Regardless I am making the move on Sunday. The move. Today I have realized I have to pack up. Pack up all the necessary information on my facebook that I will need to survive without it. I need to say goodbye to all my good friends, and tell them I hope to see them soon, because I won’t be seeing them in Facebook-ville anymore.

So my question to you is: What do you think I need to pack up?
E-mail us at: disconnect2reconnect@gmail.com


Posted by: Courtney Wright

Blizzagaga: listen to my shitty facebook story

blizzagaga:

So I guess I was hacked maybe not even half an hour ago.
I checked my Facebook to see my shit was changed. There was a lot of the “I love penis” and “gay gay gay” type of hacker stuff. I also got a bunch of gay-related new interests/likes such as gay marriage. As well, I can’t put back my wall….

Posted By: Mariam Matti

• It’s like a silent competition. Julie dyed her hair and lost five pounds within the last week. She also started hooking up with George. So, I need to do the same. As if we don’t have enough of the “keeping up with the Jones’” going on in our non-virtual lives, already.

• I deleted Facebook for about 6 months this year. It was so liberating. I got the site back to keep in touch with one of my closest friends that was moving away to school. Now that I’ve started I can’t stop. The site is like a darn bag of Lay’s potato chips. Betcha can’t eat just one.

• I recently deleted about half of the “friends” I had on my Facebook account because I didn’t feel like being creeped. Yet, the moment I deleted the bad apples from my Facebook tree, I could see on other people’s walls that the “friends” I deleted were really frustrated. Things like “today has been a really interesting day for Facebook… something new happened” were posted. As if I didn’t see that. What’s the big deal? I don’t want you creeping my profile! When abused, Facebook is a great place where people can fish for information and draw their own conclusions. Well, sorry… I’m living on land not under the sea with Sebastian the Rastafarian lobster.

• WHY DOES THE WEBSITE HAVE TO BE SO DISTRACTING? I have midterms to study for yet there I am scrolling down my news feed trying to see what Billy-Bob and Martha did last night. To be completely honest, I couldn’t (consciously) care less. However, I have a feeling that my unconscious mind has a thing for knowing other peoples’ business. Doesn’t yours? Sheesh, that Facebook CEO knew his Freud.

What aggravates you about Facebook?
VENT TO US:  disconnect2reconnect@gmail.com
posted by: Leviana Coccia

I have many reasons I chose to participate in this mission, and these challenges, however, the main reason I want to do this isto remember  a time before I had facebook, msn, a cell phone, etc. Too many times has my cellphone broke, or I have lost it and that leaves me feeling completely lost. My whole day is ruined of this happens because I start to panic about what I am going to do without my phone. I think I can not survive without it. Then I remember there was a time when I did, and that does not seem that long ago.
That always sends me into a downward spiral of thinking about all the technologies I have integrated into my life, my daily routines. What did I do before I had them? I seem to remember life being far simpler then, and for some reason I remember feeling more free. Sometimes I feel the constant need to be on my laptop and the Internet is not only wasting my time, but has become mind numbing. I waste away so many days doing nothing of value because I am to busy checking my facebook, reading online forums, posting on blogs, etc.  Then because I am doing all these things I feel like I have done something with my day until I really think about what I did, and question if it has any value. Why do I feel the need to update my status or my twitter anytime a ridiculous thought comes into my head?
So now I am fed up of just wondering these things. I want to participate in this expirement, and see how my life changes. I am fed up of hearing how good or bad Social Networking and technology is for me, so I want to find out for myself.


posted by: Courtney Wright

Preparation

In preparation for deleting my Facebook this upcoming Sunday, I think I am going to try and spend some time away from my laptop, unless it’s for the purposes of school work and this Tumblr account.

Dear Facebook,

You take way too much time away from me. In a day, where there are 24 hours, I probably check my Facebook 10 to 12 times. Not to mention, I constantly get notifications to my BlackBerry.

Is this seriously necessary? What happened to good ol’ talking face to face.

When you are not abused, Facebook, you serve the most amazing purpose. However, I need to take some time to figure out how I used to live without you. 

From,

A somewhat-dependent user.

posted by: Leviana Coccia

Did You Know

The CEO of Facebook called users “Dumb F***s” because we share too much information about ourselves online? Why one earth do we post photos, locations, e-mail addresses, and hometowns on a social network that is probably not very safe?

There are so many questions that we need answered. The problem? We don’t strive to have these inquiries fulfilled. We just watch as our privacy and our ability to communicate are driven away from us.

Let’s take this first challenge and show Facebook what its users are made of. 

We are human beings capable of communicating and staying connected without abusing a social networking site.

We are also human beings that have a right to privacy. 

Take a stance. Make a change.

It is your face.

posted by: Leviana Coccia

Today`s Status

I may have spent 13.9 billion minutes a year on you for the last [Insert the number of years you have been a member] years, but not a second more on October 24, 2010

Do not forget to “like” everyone who posts this

Can It Be Done

 Social networking really is not all that social of a thing. When you think about it how often do you and five of your friends all sit down together on the same Facebook account and do things together, I dont know about you but I do not remember ever sitting down with someone else and Faceboked together. 

My issue is though can I really get rid of Facebook, the world is a big place. My good friends go to school all over Ontario and Facebook is the main way we stay in touch during the school year. So , in that way social networking has helped me stay closer to people. Can I actually delete my Facebook? we’ve had some good times together and I have been able to stay in touch with friends I may have otherwise lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I am going to have to put some more thought into this before I decide.

posted by: Sarah Westlake

Today's Status

Updated on average 55 million times a day, this is my  [Insert your #] contribution today, no more after October 24th, 2010


Do not forget to “like” everyone who posts this
posted by: Courtney Wright

Today's Status

 I may have spent 13.9 billion minutes a year on you for the last [Insert the number of years you have been a member] years, but not a second more on October 24, 2010

Do not forget to “like” everyone who posts this
posted by: Courtney Wright

Challenge: Face Value

What is the value of your face? Well if you are part of the 350 million members of Facebook your face might be worth more than you think. It is that face that helped contribute to Mark Zuckerberg’s $4 billion networth,and what have you gained? You have earned yourself a lack of privacy, and become a cash cow to thousands of marketers who buy access to your personal information. So why are you on Facebook?
Most people are on Facebook to stay “connected”. The average user has 130 friends on Facebook, and it is not unusual for a member to have 500 or more. So if your goal is to be connected, you probably are, but what do those connections really mean?  Are they genuine friendships, or are they playing chips in a social network popularity contest?
It is time to “face the change” , and make those 350 million users one less. Disconnect yourself from Facebook to reconnect with your real life family and friends. Remember what it was like when you owned your face , your information and your privacy. It is time to remember when you had an identity, and people had to ask you what was new with you rather than “lurking” your Facebook. Join us as we “face the change” on Sunday October 24th and delete your Facebook.
We ask participants to commit to delete their Facebook for at least one week. If participants can we encourage them to keep their Facebook deleted, move on to the next challenge, and continue disconnecting. Here is how to participate in this weeks Face Value challenge:
1. Join the Facebook event by clicking on this link.
2. Invite everyone on your Facebook to the event, do not be shy.
3. Check this tumblr, and/or the event for the days’ status. Post the status to your Facebook.
4. “Like” anyone who has the status posted, as this will aid in creating awareness.
5. October 24th, delete your facebook by 12pm and get ready to start experiencing “real” life again.
6. Join the conversation here on tumblr. Submit your concerns, expierences, anything you want us to know at disconnnect2reconnect@gmail.com, along with your age and name.

posted by: Courtney Wright, on behalf of “The Reconnect”

The Mission

As we grow constantly connected online we start to question  if we are becoming decreasingly disconnected in real world environments. We intend to find the answer to this question by “disconnecting 2 reconnect”. Each week we are going to challenge each other to disconnect from a social network, or piece of technology in the attempt to reconnect to the people and communities in our lives through forms of communication we may have forgotten.
We want to know what it is like to grow up in environments free of social media and technology that keeps us constantly connected. This is our attempt as Media Studies students at the University of Guelph-Humber to explore the on-going discussion of how being connected may be discontenting us from ourselves, the people around us, and our communities.
Through this experiment we intend to document our expierences through posting them to this tumblr, and encouraging others to join to make this go viral. We also want others to share their thoughts and expierences by e-mailing them to disconnect2reconnect@gmail.com along with your name and age.
posted by: Courtney Wright, on behalf of “The Reconnect”